Random Play-All

-Listening to Stevie Wonder's music can be frustrating, because for every "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" there's an "Overjoyed." (Which is to say, for every really great song he's also got the worst kind of sappy elevator track you can imagine.) And no one gets in your car when you're listening to the good ones either. No, they open the door right as Stevie's talking about "climbing the tower of your heart" or something like that.

-Has anyone noticed that lately all the sandwich places want to sell pizza, and all the pizza places want to sell sandwiches? Are these secretly warring factions, each of them overflowing with anger that someone else is charging for "bread with stuff on it."

-I love it when game designers, desperate to change up the perfectly competent zombie-shooting they've been working on, throw a logic puzzle into the mix. Does that even make sense? I'm sorry, but if I were an evil overlord, I'm not sure I'd trust my secret antidote to one of those slider puzzles that children do.*

Instead, I think I'd probably just walk down to the store, buy a metal padlock with a key, and call it good. Seems like that would keep the hero occupied a lot longer than a jumbled picture of my family crest.

-In comedy duos, such as Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, you usually have one guy who acts normal and reasonable while the other guy is all wacky. These two roles are traditionally called the "straight man" and the "comic relief."

It recently came to my attention that I'm the only person I know who's familiar with those terms, which is particularly frustrating while playing a party game that wants me to make people guess one of them.

*Of course, when I bring down a zombie-dog and find that it was carrying (CARRYING, mind you, I guess on some sort of fanny pack since dogs don't exactly have thumbs.) fourteen rounds of shotgun ammo . . . that's not a problem.