There are certain parts of your brain that just never go away.
The English major part of my brain is always writing the world around me into a story.
The techie section is constantly looking for systems, rules, and interactions.
And then there's that special part of my personality that draws on those first two and works out theoretical zombie attacks and the best ways to defend them.
But perhaps my favorite "always on" mental tool is the little one that is dedicated, at all times, to making fun of the song "Turn the Page."
First of all, I've always had a problem with songs about music, books about writers, etc. Maybe that's why I never liked "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man." Why would you want to read a book about how some guy grew up to become a writer who spends his time writing books about how he became a writer? Or, to simplify, why are you such a jack***, James Joyce?
Strike two against "Turn the Page," or as I will refer to it from here on out: "Boo Hoo, I'm a Rock Star," is that it's not just self-involved, it's actually whining about being a professional musician.
And yes, I know that not every musician is a star. Plenty of talented people work hard all their lives and never get lucky enough to find success. But still, if you are out "on the road again," then that is the life you have chosen. And you chose it because you had the option to. You're not working fifteen hours a day in some mill or factory at a job that bores the life out of you while wearing out your joints, so you don't get a lot of sympathy. Why don't you write a song about that guy, Mr. "I have long hair and people look at me, waaaa!"?*
But the worse part of "Boo Hoo," the part that really gets me, is this line:
"Yeah, most times you cant hear em talk, other times you can"
Well yeah, those would be the options, wouldn't they? In fact, everything that exists either can or can't be heard. There's not really a third option.
Did you even need to write that line into the song? Isn't it implicit in REALITY?
*There's more money in country music, after all.