Friday, May 11, 2007

The one with the awkward moment

The thing is, it has to happen.

You can't just fly around all the time catching airplanes and stopping giant meteors and lifting overturned cars without it happening. Even if the only thing he did was walk around Metropolis all day, it would still happen every once in a while.

So what does the guy do, zip home to Mom every time so she can take care of it? He doesn't have time for that. And it's not like he can go to a dry cleaner: "Hi, I need to umm . . . get this cleaned. Yeah. No, it's not mine, I uh . . . I ran into Superman outside and he, you know, he asked me if I could just drop it off for him. So I figured, since I was coming by here ANYway . . . I mean he's the 'Man of Steel', he saved like thirty people last week, seems like the least I could . . . look just put it under 'Kent', okay?"

See what I mean? He simply has to be doing it himself. There's no other way. It must be part of his routine, just like stopping runaway trains or catching missiles in mid-air.

But how weird would it be to catch him at it? To walk in on Superman ironing his cape? Just standing there in his living room, wearing the suit. Probably with a rerun of "Friends" on in the background. And he looks up at you with this expressionless face, because it's totally normal to him. You'd be staring blankly, trying to reconcile the superhero who burned a hole though a bank vault yesterday using only his eyes with this dude in front of you who hadn't sorted the pile of socks on his couch yet.

What do you think he would he say? What would you say? I imagine there'd be this weird, awkward silence for a minute. Then finally Superman would yell "WHAT, it gets wrinkled!?", just like he'd practiced it in his head every time he got out the spray starch. And almost immediately you'd come back with "noIknow! I'msureitdoes!". Then it'd be quiet again for a second while you tried to think of a segue out.

"Aaaaaanyway, sooooo good luck with that I guess. And uhhh, don't use too much starch! Heh. Uh." *crickets* "And yeah, I'm gonna go . . . take care of some things. I guess I'll see you, ya know, FLYIN' around up there*. Ok. Bye."

*while waving your fingers around a little