Friday, January 1, 2010

Dear 2010

Dear 2010,

Congratulations on coming into being! Many of us from 2009 have worked very hard at not blowing up the universe, allowing you to have this wonderful opportunity. I've been following your tentative plans for some time now and I must say you seem to be planning a number of movie and video game release dates that are of interest. However, at the same time, I see a number of overlooked items that I would like to see you address during your term as the current year. For your consideration, allow me to present my list of things that demand your attention:

-Pizzarias. Bring them back. They were delicious. There's a whole aisle at my supermarket full of stupid chip flavors that no one wants, why can't I have some made out of pizza dough?

-"The Incredibles 2" If you'll refer back to 2004's work, you'll find that it produced the best superhero film ever made at the time ( 2008's "Dark Knight" eventually surpassed it, then hung it upside down from a gargoyle). So how about a sequel? I can even provide the setup: Six years have also passed in the world of the film. Violet is now in college and apprenticed in the now-legal heroing craft. Dash is in high school feeling a bit left out as the middle child between Violet's coming-of-age and Jack-Jack's blossoming powers. Mom and Dad are fully back in their old game, now trying to manage their secret lives along with the varied needs of their kids.

-"Mushroom Kingdom Hearts" Square threw everyone a curve ball when it made "Kingdom Hearts" a Final Fantasy-style game in the world of Disney, so why hasn't Nintendo followed suit? They've got just as many worlds at their disposal: Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Donkey Kong, Star Fox*. An RPG set in those universes would be great.

- It's time we finally got a good movie version of Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere." And, if possible, please see to it that Bob Hoskins is cast as Mr. Croupe and Vinnie Jones as Mr. Vandemar.

I look forward to seeing you address some or all of these issues. I think you'll find them all worth your while. Good luck 2010, I'll be watching.

*That reminds me: I WANT A NEW STAR FOX GAME! And not one where you run around an collect crap, one where you fly a ship and shoot things! If you need a reference for how to make that kind of game, I might suggest 1993's Star Fox!

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